mary is very high pitched in this episode.

Why was the part about Jakob's mother threatening you via e-mail cut out? Was that after you outed his mental illness issues on Gawker? 

I'm defiantly with Mary here. If I had to tell my boyfriend what to say and how to act around my family I would wonder if I should really be introducing him to them and, frankly, why I was dating him. I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't know how to be themselves and be tactful. 

My Dad had 8 siblings and each of them had between 4-7 children.  When my parents went for the first time to meet his parents and siblings she actually brought a cheat sheet to remember everyone.  

Sorry about the double post - I submitted the first comment at around noon, and it still wasn't up when I checked back at midnight, so I figured it had gotten lost in interspace...

What happend to the cold start about Jakob's mom threatening Julia?  BTW - I am on team Julia!

I have to agree with those who reference Mary's passive aggressiveness -- the comment in this TMI about Jakob's mom is all kinds of problematic-- Mary must be aware that you strained issues with this woman on a couple of fronts-- you blogged that 50 year old's blogging was just wrong [when you found out she started a blog] [wait, doesn't your dog have a twitter?] and then again-- you leaked the Bi Polar stuff-- yeah, just saying, if I know this then so does good Mary.

Then, there is her snark [Mary again] when people choose to comment about her hair------she posts endless pictures of herself, blogs about her hairdresser, her extensions, her tans, her bathing suits, her "style" well, she puts it out there if she doesn't like the response she is getting then she should follow her own advice and either "take it or leave it"   but asking people why they don't aknowledge her feelings is. just. ridiculous.

So, Live differently? 
Be spoiled, focus your energy on your looks, do juvenile things, Scream LOOK AT US constantly and then get all kinds of petulant when people do and comment accordingly. Tell people they are haters--when your actions are much more disturbing then other's words.

Ignore the election-- except to call Biden's son a douchebag--which explains why JA believed Palin won the debate [seriously???]

or Mary's tactic--discussing politics is bad manners--[em, said the Republican during the Democratic win] and again, good manners--discussing colonics--remember Mary
don't like the comments--take em or leave em

and the photoshoots and photoshoots and photoshoots--
WTF?

I guess my advice to you [take it or leave it] is to live differently--cause your continued shallowness will be a pall on your endeavors--and all will be for naught.

I too would disagree with pretty much all of Julia's commentary (even if it is tounge in cheek).  Personally, I view meeting the parents as more of a test for my BF than a test for me.

If the relationship is solid, and he truly loves me, then he'll do the prepping.  He'll set the stage for why he likes me and will have been sharing stories about me with them through the course of the relationship.  This is not a media interview and I should not be taking a journalistic approach.  I should not have been researching and prepping myself with a predefined set of questions and discussion topics.  

Assuming you are meeting at the parent's house, then assume they will be the hosts. It is ALWAYS the hosts' responsibility to make their guests feel welcome.  As the middle man, the boyfriend/girlfriend should know enough about their family to curtail any hot topics and should be sticking up for the significant other.  Also, as an adult I should be able to deflect anything I might not want to discuss politely.  "I'm guessing I could be walking into a landmine here, and I'd prefer not to discuss that" or "Let's save that for next Thanksgiving" are easily delivered lines.

The only reason you'd hide any part of who you are (both in respect to turtlenecks or discussion topics) is if you're ashamed of it.  It's part of you, it's truthful, and it's probably a part of why your significant other loves you.

Above and beyond all that, if my S.O. isn't supportive or is awkward in family situations I take pretty big offense.  If you have family issues, resolve them before you drag me onto the scene, or recognize that they're *you're* issues and go out of your way to keep me out of the middle.

Julia had some great ideas for breaking the ice. There's no better context for humor than introducing someone to your parents, so if you have any humor at all in your eyeballs, you should relish the thought. If I were a father and the guy or girl pulled out index cards, I'd be amused to say the least. And turtle-necks - well that's just Julia being the Julia we have all come to know and love.

The best way to introduce a girl or boy friend is casually, like you did when you were little. Just barge in on mom and dad and say "Hey, this is Julia (or Fred). We're gonna go play in my room." Eventually you will become familiar. And the older they get, the easier it gets; when your friend starts to look to them like your Sis or your brother Buzz, they will likely stop caring altogether.

If there must be a formal meeting, without preconditions, then you pretty much have to play it by ear. unless the dad is an Admiral or a General (or just likes to be called Admiral or General) in which case, it's easy - just sit there and keep your mouth shut, and speak only when spoken to. 

In any event honesty is always the best policy, the more kids the merrier, and Bohemian Rhapsody was the last good song ever made.

And never appear overly confident,  or they'll think you are picturing them naked.

Look ... there is just no hope on either side of meeting the parents.  Her dad is thinking that the boyfriend wants just one thing, and his mom is thinking how the girlfriend is just going to break her little boy's heart.

Best plan of attack is to befriend the parent of the same sex as your significant other.  Girlfriends go charm the guys father and guys do likewise for the girl's mom.  Gain allies with siblings to win over hearts and minds.

Two notes on appearance this week.  First, it's not that this designer doesn't make you look great (kudos to all!), but the clothes this week make you all appear 'unapproachable', and very high maintenance (especially Mary, who is looking every bit the fashionista).  Second, it's completely unfair to your male audience that week after week, Meghan is trapped behind that table, especially when laden with juice bottles, props, etc.  Please consider trading places, or using a couch every now and then.

Julia, I thought your comments were fresh and entertaining! You're fun to watch, and I think you're perfect on the show.

Don't let the naysayers get you down: people who have such strong criticisms of your advice on meeting the parents probably shouldn't be taking TMI Weekly quite so seriously. After all, the intent is to provide light commentary/insight on a variety of topics, not a step-by-step guide to living life, right?

Another thing I really admire in you is that you always seem to be having such fun with everything you do. Maybe it's because you don't spend your free time writing nasty comments to other people on the internet.

I think you're great. I think more people love you than hate you.....we're just not always as vocal. 

With great respect (yes, really),

E

Mary: Great legs.

Julia: Were you hopped up on caffeine? What is it? Why are you shouting? Do you not notice the contrast between your volume level and Mary's and Meaghan's? STOP SHOUTING.

My parents still, to this day, mock my ex for his vocabulary. He used big words. They were offended.

But the same guy told his parents that I really like to drink when I met them and went to dinner with them for the first time. I think his goal was to make me feel comfortable ordering a beer, unfortunately I came across as a total lush.

I liked this one. Julia's extremes on the advice played well against Mary's sweetness. 

This is the first time I've ever left a comment on something like this, but some of the readers'/viewers' reactions inspired me to write.

If you're constantly commenting negatively - and not constructively, but just rudely - why do you watch? It's that same kind of Gawker mentality: I know there's humor in watching, listening to, or reading something you don't like, but when you get down to it, some of these comments are really, really mean. And pointless. At the end of the day, who gains anything from calling someone "stupid" or "desperate?" The anonymity here allows for some really nasty, careless behavior.

Julia, you inspired me to start an online magazine. For all the things people say to you here, there are good things coming from what you guys are doing. 

I think it depends on the parents.  With my dad, I'm actually with Julia -- he just wants it to be "yes sir, I totally agree with you" all the way, or he's not having it.  With my mom, I'm with Mary -- be yourself and she'll like you because I like you.

All parents have wildly different parenting styles, and I think THAT'S what you should talk to your significant other about.  Let him know a little about your parents -- he should be smart enough to take it from there.  

Julia's points are valid if those are the types of parents you have.  She knows her family and the best ways to navigate something like this.  And in terms of "being yourself," which is really perfect advice... obviously, that's Julia's way of being herself!  Just because you don't make lists, flashcards, whatever, because it doesn't fit *your* personality, it doesn't mean she's not being herself.  Be nice, guys!  Appreciate what these girls put out there or don't watch it!

Another great discussion. This would make a good live show for your Mogulus network too.

Nothing creates a better more inviting context for comedy than meeting the parents. If you have any humor in your eyeballs at all, you should relish it.

I think the best way to introduce boyfriends and girlfriends to the parents is casually, as you did your childhood friends. Hey mom, what's for dinner? This is Julia. We're going up to my room and mess around. Before you know it, she's a familiar face. 

And it works even better, when you're older, because mom and dad are getting older too, and eventually they will start mistaking her for family.

For formal introductions you should play it by ear. For example, if her dad likes to be referred to as "Admiral" you should just sit at attention and only speak when spoken to. Generally, you should try to be yourself, but yourself on your best behavior. 

And don't do the "picture them alll naked" thing...Trust me on this one.

Usually it is better to just be yourself: bright and polite. But there are exceptions, some parents are really protective (all parents are, but some are extreme) and with extreme parents you have to use extreme methods.
The smartest thing to do, is to ask your SO about prior expreience, how have the parents 'behaved'. They usually know what to excpect and what their parents like/dislike in peoples behavior. Obviously you can't change or hide your personality, but there are tips that your SO could give you on how to impress.

Mary you look fab in this episode!! And, you couldn't be more right. Just be yourself because it becomes really difficult to keep up your act everytime you meet the family. 

Hee! Very cutesy episode, ladies---I like this light and fluffier fare right before the holidays.  ;-)

My only real constructive criticism concerning this episode would be your wardrobe choices, actually...Meghan, you have such a fab figure, yet you're usually hiding it under those huge blousy tops/smocks that look like something one of the Golden Girls would rock---you should show off that hot bod whenever possible! And Mary, you've got great legs, but your hot pants/skirt piece(?) was so short that it simply looked like you weren't wearing any pants with your top...I'd say longer hem lengths are a gal's best friend when on screen. And Julia, love your style as a rule, but that deep dark blue just didn't seem like, well, like "you"---maybe it's a smidge too dark for you, or something? I guess I'm just used to seeing you in bolder, brighter colors/patterns...they work so well for you! 
I know, I know, you all didn't ask for wardrobe advice, yet here I am dishing it out like a stylist or something, sheesh...

Speaking of dishing, comon now, Julia---don't you think you're patronizing parents a weeeee bit too much with all that brownosing posturing you suggest? I do get what you mean though...you want to put your best foot forward and really dress to impress and act your best too, but some of those suggestions admittedly seem like a bit much...like Mary said, as long as you're extra polite and a great guest, what's to sweat? You seem like a sweet gal who knows how to make a great impression with parents, so I can't imagine you getting unnerved by meeting those parents!

And this is yet another reason why I'm glad I've always dated older dudes...their parents were either dead or too old to care!
;-p

www.sherylspencer.net

Julia, you make a mockery of dating and it's no surprise that you are currently singe. Lying to grandparents? Not being yourself? Making note cards on your dates? I can't believe you're advocating such pathetic, childish behavior. Grow up. 

Cheatsheets are bullshit

Boston, I'm totally with you. Mary is right on point - just be yourself! Don't you think parents can smell bulls**t when they see it? I think parents much rather experience the real you, not some scripted, she's-too-perfect version. 
Don't you want parents coming away from the first meet and greet saying "wow! she was delightful and down to earth!" - not - "gee... who was she again? why did she try so hard? i wonder what she's really like?"
I believe that if you (or your SO) are comfortable in your own skin, you should be able to just be yourself around the rents. Be polite, bring a gift, offer to help clean up. But for goodness sake, Just Be Yourself. We're all adults now. :)

Normally Julia provides reasonable insight and advice on topics like this.  However, in this case, I have to agree with the above comment.  I think she is totally off base and I would never follow her sugestions.  Mary seems to have a much better approach.

It almost seems like Julia was not very well prepared for this episode and did not think through her ideas in advance.

JULIA NO WONDER you have had bad luck at meeting parents your approach is all wrong! Mary nearly countered everything you said and I am going to guess she has a better track record with meeting parents.
Its obviously good to be polite but if you want his parents to LOVE you, not just like you, you have to be yourself and show personality, if your boyfriend likes you for it, then his parents want to see what that is. 
I have an amazing relationship with my boyfriend's parents. Since day 1, I have been extremely polite of course but I constantly joke around with them and tease them even. If you are just extremely polite and know a ton of pre studied facts, that is so not real--and they can see that!! they arent idiots! Normally, parents can tell if someone is genuine.
As for turtlenecks? If thats really not you, then I say its completely unnecessary. There are ways to still be yourself and dress conservatively without wearing a turtleneck!