Do you have S.S.A.D (Single Seasonal Affect Disorder) this holiday season? Don't worry because Julia Allison has some fun ideas that you can do with your girl friends to boost your Holiday spirit. Do I hear a lip dub? Leave your comments at TMIweekly.com.
I live with my boyfriend now, but for years I experienced SSAD. The holiday season can make you feel defective if your single, because of all the family and social events. Eventually I came to the conclusion it's all in the attitude. Buy your own tree, decorate it how you want, get thoughtful gifts for your friends and family, give to charity and just be happy. Love will come eventually. In any case, spring is around the corner and people stop hibernating then. I always met new guys in the spring.
xxooo
I agree! This season is so couple oriented. It's even harder when all your girlfriends are in a relationship (my case this year.)
Personally, I think Julia's makeup looks fine. Not necessarily for pajama's, but those are holiday pajama's not everyday pajama's. I think it looks cute, like one of Santa's helpers, cute.
Julia please, for the love of God and all that is Holy, please. I'm asking nicely. Stop wearing so much makeup. It looks especially ridiculous when you're wearing pijamas. And enough with the damn curliques in your hair. You look like a mannequin.
Look at Mary, and take notice. She's young, beautiful, and natural. And you look 40.
I mean, do you seriously think wearing that much makeup on a normal day, like not going to a wedding or something, is flattering? You look clownish.
posted 1 year ago by juliette
WOW!!! Jammies! Couch! Great topic & show!
Seriously, you all seem much more relaxed and interactive without the set.
As to topic, I hope its some comfort to know that you all have a new fan and friend this Holiday season, and I for one personally wish you all a Very Merry Christmas!
Yeah, we LOVE the new set. We're going to be using it for every episode in the new year (except the first two weeks, because we've already taped those). Thanks Eddie!!
posted 1 year ago by JuliaAllison
Can Meghan sing? I detected a nice tone from the few bars she sang of "All By Myself". If that girl can sing, it's just not fair! Beauty, brains, AND talent!
Yes, I actually CAN sing! Growing up, my mother thought that her four children were the reincarnation of the Von Trapp family from the Sound of Music. Each of her children were enrolled in singing lessons at age five (I have the sweetest STAGE MOM ever!).
I used to be a part of a Showchoir in Middle School and sang as, I kid you not, a DANCING BEAR at the local Country Fair in Northern California. Yes, I know this is quite the impressive Karaoke resume (move over Mariah!).
Perhaps, I'll make up a quirky tech song one day to show you those long forgotten vocal skillz ;-). Email me if anyone wants to help me write one, I'm game to perform. Shoot me an email and we can collaborate (al la Sonny and Cher). Maybe we could even feature it on a TMI tech episode.
Thanks Meggy for being so complementary. This is the first year that I've felt comfortable in my own skin, it has taken me a long time to accept myself for all my quirks (not to mention my painful verbal stutters). I FINALLY feel (at least for the time being) happy on my own, grateful for what I'm doing, full of love, not for a man (that will come in time), but for my friends, family, and especially the community we're creating on this Website.
Thank you for participating. The positive and constructively critical comments really help us. In the end, this show is for you, so please don't hold back, we need your input. We really do take each of your perspectives to heart.
posted 1 year ago by Meghan Asha
Yes, I actually CAN sing! Growing up, my mother thought that her four children were the reincarnation of the Von Trapp family from the Sound of Music. Each of her children were enrolled in singing lessons at age five (I smell a STAGE MOM!).
I used to be a part of a Showchoir in Middle School and sang as, I kid you not, a DANCING BEAR at the local Country Fair in Northern California. Yes, I know this is quite the impressive Karaoke resume (move over Mariah!).
Perhaps, I'll make up a quirky tech song one day to show you those long forgotten vocal skillz ;-). Email me if anyone wants to help me write one, I'm game to perform. Shoot me an email and we can collaborate (al la Sonny and Cher). Maybe we could even feature it on a TMI tech episode.
Thanks Meggy for being so complementary. This is the first year that I've felt comfortable in my own skin, it has taken me a long time to accept myself for all my quirks (not to mention my painful verbal stutters). I finally feel (at least for the time being) happy on my own, grateful for what I'm doing, full of love, not for a man (that will come in time), but for my friends, family, and especially the community we're creating on this Website.
Thank you for participating. The positive and constructively critical comments really help us. In the end, this show is for you, so please don't hold back, we need your input, taking each of your perspectives to heart.
posted 1 year ago by Meghan Asha
Just got an answer on what Mary is planning to do for the needy this Christmas direct from from JA's Twitter :"I have GREAT news, bunny! I just bought FIVE NEW VELOUR JUICY COUTURE tracksuits at Bloomies. Never say die, Juicy! Bwa"
Please note- Mary has no job ( Obviously non society is not a paying gig)
Mary- you are your own worst enemy
I believe that was JA to Mary, taunting Mary because she hates Juicy.
posted 1 year ago by BonnieBaugher
Yep. That was my twitter. Juicy was 50% off! Wooo! And yes, I was ribbing Mary, because she abhors Juicy and I love it.
But NonSociety is a paying gig, yes, as is TMIweekly. We all have salaries, albeit small ones, derived from our advertising revenues and investment capital.
posted 1 year ago by JuliaAllison
But you only have one advertiser- Deodorant (how appropriate since your website stinks). So how does that pay all your salaries?
posted 1 year ago by jesse34
You would think that three ostensibly empowered and confident women could find better things to do than obsess about than finding men. (Actually, you would think that three such beautiful women would be able to find men, if that's what they really wanted -- it's sure not your looks that is keeping them away.)
For Julia specifically, this relationship obsession is getting pretty irresponsible. Your blog has been harping on the issue of weight and physical perfection for some time now. Why is that? If you think that this type of inquiry is valuable to your readers in any way, you're mistaken. Real women don't want to know what you think men think they should look like. They don't want to know about how sad you are that you're alone. Why not encourage women to love themselves for who they are, so they don't need a man for validation?
You've built yourself this great platform and somehow attracted a rather large audience. Kudos to you for that. But it's all worthless if you don't use it in a valuable and constructive way. I get that you write columns for some publication or something, but just because "it's your job to write about dating" doesn't mean you have to be vapid and trite -- or frankly, downright offensive -- like you so often are. Is the problem that you aren't actually talented enough to be insightful, or is it that you are so out of touch that you think you already?
I'm just sharing my feelings, which are genuine. I'm sorry that you find it offensive that I sometimes get sad around the holidays when I don't have a significant other to love, but I think sharing these emotions and thoughts is incredibly constructive. Feeling down is part of life - and so, yes, is "talking about boys." It's certainly not the only thing in life, but it's part of it. And since my segments are focused on dating, that's frequently what I talk about.
None of us - Meghan, Mary or myself - "needs a man for validation." But that doesn't mean that we're not lonely sometimes! I think it's much better to be truthful about our feelings than try to hide behind some sort of false rhetoric about being strong and perfect. Sometimes we're strong, sometimes we're not. We're human. And the more we show that, the more other women will feel confidant enough to express themselves - even when they're vulnerable or it's not the "popular" emotion.
posted 1 year ago by JuliaAllison
PS. I feel like you didn't watch the episode! The entire thing is what to do so you're NOT focused on not having a relationship.
posted 1 year ago by JuliaAllison
The day you stop obsessing over not having a boyfriend is usually the day one appears, finding it refreshing that you are not one of those women who obsesses over not having a boyfriend.
I have found this to be incredibly true, actually - and not just for boyfriends, but it definitely applies to them too! ... The minute you stop looking and stop wanting, it/he comes.
Sometimes this really, really sucks. :P
posted 1 year ago by Chanel
Amen, Amen to that, folks!!
My best relationships occurred when I wasn't even looking for a relationship. I met my fiance when I didn't event want to date anyone PERIOD, let alone get serious with somone.
I feel for ya though, gals...I've been there too...I'm so USED to being that typical single gal, and I was for the past 30 years of my life...I'd ditch certain parties because I didn't have a date, I'd avoid certain date-friendly events and I had many a tearful New Year's Eve where I was either sad and alone or whining on the shoulder of a similar girlfriend.
But hang in there. Stay strong and stay happy. And most of all, STAY BUSY and don't obsess about it! Cupid comes calling when you least expect him indeed... ;-)
((and count me in as one of those who doesn't understand why you gals are all still single---NYC dating life must be BRUTAL!!!))
Also, volunteer work over the holidays is awesome. Totally makes you forget about yourself for a while and makes your own holiday all the better for making others' better in the process. Definitely look into it this holiday, ladies!
www.sherylspencer.net
posted 1 year ago by SherylSp
You are SO right, the moment you stop obsessing about finding that special someone is the moment you find them. I've found that my most powerful relationships occur when I'm strong, secure, and independent.
This is the first holiday season that I'm without a serious boyfriend and I must admit I'm happier than ever. I really enjoy the peace of being on my own.
I know it seems like the three of us are wallowing in self-pity in this episode, but speaking for myself, I know that I will never attract the right mate if I'm not first happy with myself.
My mother was married with a child at my age, sometimes I envy the security she has (especially, after those daunting dates in the city). I now accept that this is my path. I'm focused on other things right now, which for me is better in the long run. I used to depend on boyfriends that inevitably always let me down, now I depend on various sources like my friends, family, and even the online community we've created. So I guess that means I depend on all you with such insightful comments posting each time our Website and TMI. Wow, that sounds really cheesy, but to me, its the truth.
posted 1 year ago by Meghan Asha
Kudos to you Meghan. You address this issue in an honest way and seem to truly be trying to find happiness and independence on your own. It's very attractive. On your blogs, it's very interesting to read about your travels and discoveries. Even Mary seems to be finding some happiness spending time with her family at home over the holidays. Something tells me these activities are bringing you two a lot more fulfillment than Julia's vapid holiday Santa pole dancing.
posted 1 year ago by Kasey
Me too. I am manless and delighted. Relationships are over-rated.
posted 1 year ago by BonnieBaugher
Hear hear!
posted 1 year ago by MissMsMrs
Mason isn't single! He has 3 ladies...
How can Meghan look stunning in PJs? I agree. Must be the blue.
Man, all I gotta say is that NYC must be one BRUTAL dating scene, because I just can't fathom how such lovely gals as you three are still single! Sheesh!!
Anyhoodles, last year and this year's holiday have been the most special in my 31 years of life thanks to FINALLY having my loving man in my life for those---he's been better than any Christmas gift I could ever hope to find under my tree.
Mind you, I'd been that hopelessly lonely single gal for so long that I truly do know how SSAD feels at its worst...and it SUCKS NUTS!
I remember skipping parties because I didn't want to be the only date-free person there...I remember staying away from certain stores because all the happy couples shopping there made me blue...I remember being all alone on New Year's Eve one year, just crying and having the biggest pity party because I was convinced I'd be alone and unloved forever.
So I really dig Julia's suggestion about girlfriends bonding more and having extra fun together during those tougher times---just count your blessings and be grateful that you gals have plenty of good friends around for love and support when SSAD strikes, of course!
Another good idea for avoiding SSAD would be to turn those lemons into lemonade and volunteer to make other people's holidays a little brighter. Volunteering and helping others less fortunate will immediately help you forget about those goofy things like not having a date around for the office Christmas party, for instance.
Signing up to buy gifts for an impoverished child on an Angel Tree, volunteering with Toys for Tots, or even serving Christmas/Thanksgiving dinner at the local mission/soup kitchen are just a few great suggestions for getting out of pity party mode and making yourself feel better by helping others feel better, of course.
I've done Meals on Wheels for several years now, and I just love it---what could be more selfless than spending quality time with poor elderly folks who don't have ANYONE else in the world to talk to, let alone break bread with?
In the meantime, hang in there, ladies---a lot of us are or have been in the SSAD funk before too. Holiday timeline or not, you just never know when that lucky person will find you---I was last dumped several Christmases ago, but I somehow stumbled my guy a few days after that following St. Patty's...Cupid can strike at ANY time!
;-)
www.sherylspencer.net
Read JA's blog and it might not be so surprising to figure out why she's single. It's as though a boy-crazy 15-year-old wrote it. I say this not to be cruel, but if she can't see that it's playing a role in her failed relationships, she is not dealing with reality.
posted 1 year ago by BonnieBaugher
So true, Bonnie. And if you follow Julia's Twitter, it seems she's going on dates but trying to avoid telling the guy her last name. Not to be mean Julia, but I sincerely mean this: you are almost 30. Perhaps it's time for some more mature behavior when it comes to men and dating? That might be why you have problems being in a relationship.
I totally agreeeee Meghan looks gorgeoussss!!! I mean she usually does, but extra on this video? Maybe its the bright blue color.
I was on a break 2 years ago with my boyfriend, starting in the summer, but we got back together around thanksgiving....maybe I was trying to combat SSAD?? Who knows...at least now we're still going...
Also, maybe there's just something about that period in between thanksgiving and st. patricks day - anyone else remember that john mayer song?? He was using it in the opposite way that you're not going to break up until st. patricks day.
posted 1 year ago by L3g
Good job!!
Most people desire and enjoy the security and happiness that comes from a good relationship. It is natural. However, as "Jay22" points out, the emotions of the holidays are often dependent on the individual's situation.
I think guys feel many of the same emotions you describe. However, we have tendency to not show or talk as openly about our feelings so it is not as obvious.
As a single guy in his 30s, for me it has nothing to do with the holidays. In fact, I cannot recall every feeling something remotely similar to what you all talk about until my sisters got married and had children. Although this might be because the timing of their marriages coincides closely with end of a 6 year relationship of mine.
Regardless, I absolutely love seeing my sisters' with their husbands and girls. It is amazing to watch. My nieces are so cute and so much fun; I could eat them for lunch. Seeing all of them happy together brings me so much joy. However, it is also a reminder of part of my life that is sorely missing. For as long as I can remember I have wanted a family of my own. So, spending time with them is the trigger to get off my butt and be hopeful about my dating life. :)
I wish I was Mason! He looks so comfortable napping on the couch with everyone.
Although I am not currently single, I definitely think all of this stuff is true about being single during the holidays. I also think, though, that it applies to a much broader spectrum. The holidays can be fun, but they can also often emphasize the "lack" in our lives, whether it be a significant other, or, as I've seen in the past with friends, a solid family support system. I have a good friend who was basically disowned by her family when she came out of the closet a few years ago (horrible-- she is the most amazing person, I don't know how you could be anything but proud to have her as a daughter), so the holidays emphasize that disconnect, and it is usually a painful time for her. Similarly, I used to date a guy whose father was an alcoholic. The holidays sucked for their family because it stressed how they weren't the cookie-cutter nuclear family that you're "supposed" to be.
For me, though, as someone with both a loving boyfriend, and a loving family, I feel very blessed and thankful for this time of year.
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