Let’s be honest: the best stocking stuffer under is .99 in cash.  But if you want to surprise your friend or loved one, try one of these (make sure you read past the jump for the full list):

LITERAL: Stuffing.

IRONIC: Another stocking.

EXISTENTIALIST: Nothing.

TAOIST: Everything.

OPTIMISTIC: Fill the stocking half way.

PESSIMISTIC: Leave the stocking half empty.

JEWISH: Wait, why are there stockings in your house?

— Harrison (harrisongreenbaum.com)